Tuesday, September 13, 2016

If My Brain Is A Sponge Then My Soul is a Sham Wow



The time and effort it takes to destroy one self differs from person to person. Its the time and effort one takes to repair said damage and to right the ship you call your life and get it headed in a positive direction, sail with the current and not against it, this effort is what truly defines you as a person. I don't want to die just yet. I have a few things i want to accomplish and i want to wake up someday, some early morning as the sun cuts above the skyline and smile. Smile for real, not faking it for someone else or even myself. I want to sleep again like i did when i was 11. I want to dream about the Mos Eisley Cantina, i want to excitedly doze off knowing the next issue of GI Joe, the comic, will arrive in our mailbox tomorrow. I want to Time Travel. I want to smell her again, lean in and touch her shoulder, catch the smell of her hair. Possibly, just maybe i can fall in love again. Not so likely and as people with degrees tell me, relationships are the last thing someone like me needs at this juncture in my recovery. Yes i am in recovery. Addiction recovery, recovery of my Health and my soul is in transition again to be recovered soon by some intergalactic salvage team, astronauts armed with Sham Wow's will mop up the black sludge i have left behind in my destructive wake through my universe of Family and Friends.

All systems go this time, no time to waste on a goddamn pity party. Tried that and no one RSVP'd this time. Everyone's catching on now.

Well, so am I.

JKA   9/13/16
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2 comments:

  1. UnknownSeptember 14, 2016 at 5:11 PM

    I am proud of you son

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gonzo DNASeptember 17, 2016 at 9:29 PM

    Sounds good, Cuz. Sounds like you've made a decision that you are powerless over your addiction, that your life has become unmanageable. Now come to believe that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity, even if that power be only a Group of Other adDicts. Then ask for and accept all the help you can get from people who are clean and commit yourself to a program of recovery. You can't do it alone. Survival rate for addicts who go it alone: 0%

    ReplyDelete

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